[Reluctantly] Cooking Vegan or How To [Fail At] Cook Vegan

ImageTautaun biting my bicep.

This weekend was work work work.  I work at a food coop–a strange place with crazy foods, weird employees and rrrrrich beetches.  I get paid a lot, phat benefits, but I am excited for the day when the people I serve trust that I know the difference between cold groceries, hot, wet, dry and neutral ones–and that I can bag them accordingly.

Image

Spent the weekend catchin up on sleep and catchin up on some making fun of the cat–Brad and I’s favorite activities.  RizzBizzle has this executive-style office chair in his bedroom, and Tauntaun’s favorite thing to do is jump in it, cuddle up, and watch us sleep as she slowly spins in the chair.  Very Dr. Claw and so creepy.  The majority of our mornings together involve some version of this scenario:  we both wake up to the sight of Tauntaun staring at as spinning around like a boss in her office chair, either Brad or I will say something to the effect of “what the fuck are you doing?” and she responds by attacking the arm of the chair, upside-down while kicking her back feet fiercely.  She then kicks so hard she falls right of the chair and lands on her back.  Poor thing really fails at being a cat.

Speaking of catburgers.   FOOOD (how’s that for a segue?)  I have so much time to cook now that school is completely done.

Now I have to explain, I am not vegan, or vegetarian but I often cook that way to pack some veggies in my diet.  Despite, in all my intense meal-planning (and eating) I have been doing, I have come to understand why our parents cooked the way they did.

::::Realizations:::

First, you don’t want leftovers of food that is dissatisfying.  Usually go for the meat, ALWAYS go for the cheese.

Second, there must be meat and cheese in your food because otherwise there will be emotional and/or familial rebellion.  Food without m&c it is dissatisfying and your feelings, appetite and children will resent you for excluding it.

Third.  Hell yes cooking is time-consuming.  One-dish meals are where its at.  Careful though, that casserole/crockpot/hotdish better have meat and cheese because come lunch-time yer gonna gag when you think about eating those leftovers AGAIN.

Fourth.  Meat.

Fifth.  Cheese.

:::::

So far I have tried these recipes from post-punk kitchen:  a vegan website with a silly name.  It’s been my go-to site for years for recipe ideas. They use veggies creatively and this time around I stayed true to the recipes {big mistake}:

Egg plant black-eyed pea curry:  Verdict–cheap, tastiestish, tastes boring as all hell, cheap.  Good to make if you are broke.  FAST.  Too vegan.  Makes a ton of food.  Dissatisfying craving-wise:  makes me want jump into a pool of lard and eat my way out.

Eggplant potato moussaka: Verdict–don’t need to use pine nuts just use cashews to cheapen.  I’ve never had moussaka before (its greek/russian…….egyptian, nay, a recipe of the Ottoman Empire?).  The vegan version was DELICIOUS.  Satisfying in every way.  Weird spices, thinly cut and salted potatoes zucchini, and eggplant.  Thick layer of this weird tofu spread that actually good.  Normal meat-eating humans won’t like this, but I like it.

ImageEdamame pesto pasta.

Pictured:  Hopeful glisten in my eye that it will taste good, and seconds before I dumped it on my keyboard in an effort to take a picture.  Verdict:  satisfying for one meal, leftovers were just…lame.  I added parmesan.  Meh.  Not sure I would make this again.  The combination of the color of the pesto with the spinach linguini made it look otherworldly.  Very healthy….definitely felt like I wanted to eat a whole wheel of brie after eating it.

My other go-to for recipes: Foodnetwork.

Alton’s Brown’s Shepherd’s Pie

ShepherdAmazing.  Delicious.  Used beef instead of lamb and added swiss chard.  WINNER.  This is one dish where I actually love the leftovers, day after day, every time.  It’s hard to avoid dreading leftovers, NOT WITH THIS DISH.

Later

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